Marriages, like most other growing things, need energy, effort and investment to thrive and flourish.
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Keep in mind your dating schedule. If a couple of weeks have gone by and you and your spouse haven’t done anything together, it’s time to get out of the house, even if it’s just for pie and coffee at Denny’s.
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Make a point of talking every day, even if it’s just for 10 minutes. If your children are still small, you won’t be able to “find” the time — you’ll have to carve it out.
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Take up sports or hobbies you can do together. Bicycling, tennis, golf and bowling are just a few sports couples can do together. Or you can develop common interests in collecting, cooking or volunteering.
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Relearn walking. We were surprised at the number of couples in their second decade of marriage who told us they had rediscovered the twilight walk. Take advantage of the longer daylight.
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Serve together in your church. Kill two birds with one stone—spend time with your spouse and serve the church.
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Share your daily schedules for the coming week. Not only will you each feel more involved, but you can schedule some time for each other.
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If you can tell something is bugging your spouse, ask him or her about it. Slowly draw out your spouse. Ask gently but directly, “Is anything bothering you, Honey? I’d like to hear about it.”
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Even if you’ve been watching TV together, turn it off before going to bed. A small trickle of conversation can turn into a river of exchanges between you and your spouse.
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Remember the three c’s: communication, compromise and consideration. Compromise is the cornerstone of marriage, but it works best when both sides have aired what’s bothering them. In order for give-and-take to work, offer to hear what your spouse has to say first. Finally, heed this advice a father gave one of his adult sons: “Treat your wife with as much courtesy as you would a friend, even a stranger. If you can treat her like a best friend, you’ll be fine.”
