Preparing For Change - Focus on the Family Africa

Preparing For Change

by Christi Bear

The transition to adulthood is difficult. Rapid physical growth begins in early adolescence — typically between the ages of 9 and 13 — and thought processes start to take on adult characteristics. Many youngsters find these changes distressing because they do not fully understand what is happening to them. Fears and anxieties can be put to rest by simply keeping an open line of communication and preparing for change before it occurs.

The main issues that arise during adolescence are:

Low Self-Esteem
Physical Changes
Emotional Turbulence
Peer Pressure and Conformity
Emerging Independence and Search for Identity
Interest in the Opposite Sex

Low self-esteem

A child’s self worth is particularly fragile during adolescence. Teenagers often struggle with an overwhelming sense that nobody likes them, that they’re not as good as other people, that they are failures, losers, ugly or unintelligent.

Physical Changes

Some form of bodily dissatisfaction is common among pre-teens. If dissatisfaction is great, it may cause them to become shy or very easily embarrassed. In other cases, teens may act the opposite — loud and angry — in an effort to compensate for feelings of self-consciousness and inferiority.

As alarming as these bodily changes can be, adolescents may find it equally distressing to not experience the changes at the same time as their peers. Late maturation can cause feelings of inferiority and awkwardness.

Emotional turbulence

Young people feel more strongly about everything during adolescence. Fears become more frightening, pleasures become more exciting, irritations become more distressing and frustrations become more intolerable. Every experience appears king-sized during adolescence.

Youngsters having a difficult adolescence may become seriously depressed and/or engage in self-destructive behavior. Often, the first clue that a teenager needs professional help is a deep-rooted shift in attitude and behavior.

Parents should be alert to the following warning signs of personality change indicating that a teenager needs help:

Repeated school absences
Slumping grades
Use of alcohol or illegal substances
Hostile or dangerous behavior
Extreme withdrawal and reclusiveness

Peer pressure and conformity

There is tremendous pressure on adolescents to conform to the standards of their peers. This pressure toward conformity can be dangerous in that it applies not only to clothing and hairstyles; it may lead them to do things that they know are wrong.

Emerging independence and search for identity

Adolescence marks a period of increasing independence that often leads to conflict between teenagers and parents. This tension is a normal part of growing up — and for parents, a normal part of the letting-go process.

Another normal part of adolescence is confusion over values and beliefs. This time of questioning is important as young people examine the values they have been taught and begin to embrace their own beliefs. Though they may adopt the same beliefs as their parents, discovering them on their own enables the young person to develop a sense of integrity.

Interest in the opposite sex

Adolescence is marked by a new interest in the opposite sex. Boys face a more physical desire for sex, whereas girls face a more emotional desire for closeness and intimacy.

Although adolescence will present challenges for young people and their parents, awareness and communication can help pave the way for a smooth transition into this exciting phase of life.

Last updated October 2004